My Baby Boys

So it's no secret that Jason and I are done having kids. What might be a secret to many of you is how bad I wanted Eva to be a boy. I was convinced I was having a boy during the early part of my pregnancy, so much so that when the ultrasound showed she was a girl (after Jason made the nurse check twice just to be sure there was no hope it was a boy) I cried. I cried a lot. I called my mom, sobbing, and she assured me that having a girl is the greatest joy a mom can have... but I was still unconvinced. I came to accept that I was having a girl, getting excited when we picked out names and started painting her room pink. Even so, when Eva was born, in my drug induced stupor, the first few moments after she was born I still lifted her little leg to see if she truly was a girl.

Fast forward: I have come to know that having a daughter is the most utterly amazing blessing I could have ever hoped for. I don't know why I ever doubted my mom, wise as she is, that having a little mini me would be anything short of perfection.

There is a part of me that always wonders what it would have been like to have a son but thankfully two of my best friends both had boys, and I am able to love them up often enough to hold my son-wanting urges at bay :)  We got all 3 bebes together for the first time every today. 5 1/2 years, 11 months and 3 weeks and they all just make my heart smile!